1. You’re so bad at Contra, that after playing it with 30 lives and using all of the continues, you didn’t know that the game scrolled.

2. You’re so bad at Tetris: On two-player mode a guy can beat you with a controller that has broken left and right buttons.

3. You’re so bad at RPGs: When somebody asks you where you’re stuck, you say, “The file select screen.”

4. You’re so bad at Stack Up: You made ROB strangle you.

5. You’re so bad at Castlevania Adventure that you say you need a slow-motion controller to play it well.

6. You’re so bad at World Class Track Meet that by the time you finish the race, the turtle has reached the end of the stadium!

7. You’re so bad at Bomberman 64 that you can’t find the knight suit!

8. You’re so bad at Virtua Fighter that you can’t beat your initials.

Special thanks to http://members.tripod.com/sturat/disses.html for the great source material!